pauses&clicks

“Your rotator cuff is frayed, not from any particular injury but rather, from overuse and the aging process.”

I really hated hearing that.

This is a pretty accurate representation of what it was feeling like at the time.

Surgery won’t fix it.  Physical therapy irritates it.  There’s no permanent fix; it just needs to rest and to be quiet.

While I was sitting in church Sunday my mind wandered as I was waiting for mass to start and it occurred to me that I often let my life exist in the same state.  I overuse it, I over think it, I worry too much about what may or may not happen.  I get distracted, I focus on things I can’t control, I forget that ultimately, I’m not in charge.

All too often I forget that the edges of my life are frayed, like the edges of most lives.

And I forget to pray.  I forget that part of my faith is trusting and believing that He has a plan and that, in prayer, I only need to ask.

And so I prayed and will continue to pray.  I’m Catholic, am convinced of the power of novenas, and have vowed to pray one continually for as long as I’m able.

Because unlike my rotator cuff, the frayed edges of my life can be mended.  Trusting, believing and asking are the requirements.

I just need to be still for ten minutes out of every day.  Be still and pray.  And then perhaps the frayed edges will begin to knit together.

The responsorial psalm last Sunday was “Lord, your love is eternal, do not forsake the work of your hands.”  My plan is to trust that he won’t.