Nothing in our future is guaranteed.
Life is one way and then suddenly nothing is the same.
My large extended family is grieving this week.
On Tuesday my cousin’s 14-year-old son took his own life.
This was his mom’s Facebook post yesterday.
“I just wanted to finally get on here and thank all of you, our extended families, our neighbors, our Ankeny Community family, Little League and AJF family, OLIH church family, and friends for all of your thoughts, prayers, and support that you have been sending to us on the loss of our son, Jake Gardner. We cannot begin to express our heartbreak as he chose to take his own life on Tuesday. I know that you are all hurting too, and I am very sorry that Jake caused that hurt. I do want you all to know that Jake was a happy, active, polite, and loving kid who would help anyone in time of need. He loved to play baseball and recently had even talked to me about playing football again. He also enjoyed video games and the people he played with on the games. He was excited to try and get a job this summer and take his driving classes and get a school permit to drive back and forth to school on his own next school year, and he had a sleepover planned with buddies this weekend at our house, so he had plans to look forward to. I think that Phil and I always had open communication with our boys and made sure that if they seemed down we always talked to them about it. All the experts have told us from our description of Jake’s attitude and behaviors that there were no “textbook” signs that he would want to take his life, so we are all at a loss as to why he would do such a thing. The experts tell me that “sometimes we just never know why,” which is not the answer any of us want to hear. I also want you to know that we are donating Jake’s organs so that up to 6 other people may have a second chance at life. Some good had to come out of this tragic situation. Jake is still giving, even though he is gone from our sight, and I know he would want it that way. I wish I could just hug all the hurt away from each and every one of you. We have an excellent support system offering thoughts and prayers, and that is all we need to heal after this tragedy, so we thank you all for that. Also, if you have been sharing photos of Jake, I appreciate that too. It’s nice to see the REAL Jake – smiling, being a clown, playing baseball…just being JAKE. May God bless us all with peace and comfort.”
I’m in awe of her courage and her selflessness as she seeks to console others and of her and her husband’s decision to donate their son’s organs that others might live healthier lives.
In Jake’s honor I hope to always be mindful of the people in my life and to be grateful for their presence.
Judy and Phil have three wonderful sons. The youngest has gone to heaven too soon. Today he is in the arms of angels and in the presence of God.
May all who mourn him be comforted.
pauses&clicks 
We lost a nephew to suicide. There are no words, no explanations, no satisfactory ideas that can explain the premature ending of a life or comfort those left behind. We will never come to accept the loss in the way we do those whose time has come. Instead we are saddled with a desire to understand that which cannot be understood.
May your family may find its peace.
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Thank you for your comments…..for reaching out across the blogging world to offer solace.
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My heart breaks reading this! I will keep Jake, his family, and everyone touched by this in my prayers. All my love, Patty.
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Your love and your prayers are appreciated Patty.
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You and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.
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Thank you Karen.
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Somehow “Like” does not seem appropriate here… but please take it as a symbol of my appreciation of a difficult posting in light of this tragic situation. There are no words… but I am very thankful for your words… and the expression of Jake’s mom.
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I belong to an awesome family. Many of us are willing to share even our hardest times in order to help others who might one day experience them. Thank you for your comments and for reaching out.
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Julie, I’m wondering as well why there were not signs of his depression. I say this because Rich’s little brother, Robbie, did this in 1991. I had heard of these signs, and Robbie had several, but no one thought it to be true because the family were all going to AZ in a month for Thanksgiving at his place. I was the last of the family to see and speak with him. He also left a letter to explain his feelings. You cannot imagine how many families spoke of their own experience of losing a family member in this way. I had no idea. God bless this mother, and know that “I’m But a Stranger Here; Heaven is my Home.”
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There were no signs Lana….and nothing left behind to unlock the mysteries. This isn’t the first time suicide has touched our family and I’ve spent a lot time trying to understand it, ever since I was a teenager and found out that my grandmother took her own life when my dad was just 19. The hurt a person is feeling overwhelms all normal thinking and they truly believe everyone will be off without them.
I believe God holds these souls with extra tenderness.
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I am wordless. And understand Galen911 above. “Like” seems so…wrong…
At another time I will share my personal experience of this sad, sad event in your life but for now, please do take in all the love and support coming your way.coming. I am so sorry.
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Kathie, at some point we should exchange phone numbers and talk. Emails may be too cumbersome. And again, thank you for your beautiful blog post a few days ago in support of this family.
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I’ll send you y number in an e-mail, OK. I look forward to “meeting” you that way also.
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Thank you for sharing such painful but grace filled thoughts. Hugs and prayers to all.
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Thanks Gail. I believe Judy is teaching us all even through her pain.
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Beautiful words and heart, Julie!
Little did we know what you would be writing about when you got this blog challenge, when I was with you in VA earlier this week.
Heartbreaking. Well done, sweet sister.
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I love you Jeanne. We are part of one really great family, aren’t we?
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So sad. I appreciate that both you and your cousin are sharing with us. It was very meaningful and moving to see Jake’s picture and to read his mother’s tribute. The angel picture is so powerful as well. I am glad you are all getting the support you need and deserve to have.
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Thanks for connecting. I took the image of the angel when I was in New Orleans last year. She’s tucked back in a crypt in a cemetery in Metarie and I believe she truly depicts the sorrow that angels feel for those of us who grieve, even as they usher our loved ones into heaven we cannot begin to fathom. Jake’s mom has been amazing. She has been consoling all of us even though her grief is so very deep. Tonight, during the time of his visitation, she is encouraging all of us who can’t be there, to spend some time in prayer and then to simply be together in silence for seven minutes, the number on Jake’s baseball jersey.
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Oh my sweet friend, I am so sorry about your loss. What a selfless post from his moms Facebook. I’m sending you and your family prayers and love. ❤
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Thank you Brittany. There just aren’t any words, all we can offer them is our love.
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