My youngest son got married last month and his wife took our family name as her own. All three of our daughters-in-law have chosen to change their names.
That certainly isn’t a given and I would have been totally fine with it had they chosen to keep their maiden names. I get that and I understand it, but my old-fashioned self wanted them to have the same last name as their husbands, for them to take that familial leap of faith.
I’ve never stopped identifying myself as a Crosby even though I’ve been a Kowalski twice as long as I was a Crosby. When I graduated from college and they announced my name as I crossed the stage I was sad for my parents that the Crosby name wasn’t announced or on my diploma. That day I found myself wishing I had changed my middle name from Mary to Crosby when I legally changed my last name, thus retaining on paper, in addition to in heart, that early sense of self.
When I had married several years earlier, at 18, I was totally delighted that by taking the Kowalski name my new husband and I had the exact same initials….JMK. I envisioned many sets of monogramed bath towels in my future. Changing my middle name to Crosby would have negated that.